Do you ever have something about yourself that you want to change? Maybe it’s your hairstyle, maybe you want to lose some weight, maybe you wish that you were nicer to people, that you didn’t yell at your kids as much, maybe it’s that you want to change your jobs or career path. Whatever it is, there are a number of things that all of us would love to change about ourselves most of the time.

But we sit here and ask, why can’t I change these things, why can’t I just wave the magic wand and all of a sudden accomplish my goals? One of the things for me is my weight. I have for years said that I want to lose some weight and become healthier. It’s something that I continue to struggle with. But there is a key to any change you want to make in your life, whether it is weight, something about your personality, or your character, or maybe your job or living situation.

The first key is not creating a goal. The first key that you have to embrace is that you have to ignore how you feel. A lot of time we make goals in the heat of a moment, in a highly emotional charge. But then the feeling passes and so does the desire to put forth the action to achieve those goals.

When we have any sort of goal, especially those that are worth achieving, we have to put action toward it. Like for me, losing weight, what is it I have to do? Well, I know I have to choose good food, I have to choose to exercise regularly, I have to choose to drink water, and to drink more of it as opposed to less of it. In each of those things, do I feel like choosing good food? Not all the time. Do I feel like drinking 100oz of water? Not every day. Do I feel like going and exercising? For me, most of the time the answer there is no.

So what we have to do, if we are ever going to achieve the goals that we have and the changes that we want to have in our lives, we have to ignore how we feel and we have to take action. I was reading this book, The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins, and this is one of the things that she really hammers in that book. Our feelings get in the way and they disrupt our ability to actually achieve our goals.

Why? Because our feelings are very fickle. We may feel like I want to achieve this goal right now, but when it comes to the pedal to the metal, or the rubber to the road, when it comes to actually doing the work, our minds are going to come up with a bunch of reasons why we shouldn’t do that. And if we listen to our feelings, we will never do the work to accomplish the goals that we have.

We are feeling people. We are actually feeling machines that reason, is how I’ve heard it put, not reasoning machines that feel. We have to learn how to put our feelings in the right perspective and in the right context, but not give it so much power in our life that it inhibits us from achieving our goals.

So how do you not get ruled by your feelings? So I have a couple of tips for you. First, if you have not read it, I would really recommend picking up a copy of the book or audiobook of The 5 Second Rule. It was absolutely incredible for what it’s done for me in how I think about interacting with my kids and parenting, my business, and a lot of things I want to see and achieve in my life.

The second thing is that you need to be real with yourself without allowing yourself to be ruled by your feelings. Part of that is being intentional with your time and your thoughts.

I hope this was at least a little bit helpful for you. Do you find that your feelings get in the way of taking the action needed to accomplish your goals? Drop a comment below and let me know.


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